The Nice Guy J-Curve Economic Model
Theory: The ‘nicer’ you are, the more your demand from the opposite sex diminishes.
Theory: The good ones are always taken. Often confused with: If you are taken than you are a good one. This is a common fallacy in reasoning. Effect does not equal cause.
As a disclaimer I need to explicitly say that there are guys out there who think they are nice, good guys; they are delusional about being a good catch. No. You. Are. Not. A. Nice. Guy. You also suck as a boyfriend. That being said....
Are you a ‘nice guy’ who doesn’t have a job or bounces from job to job (okay I know times are tough, but you know what I’m talking about), who asks but is hesitant to give, who lives at home in his late twenties for NO good reason? Have you ever held a job for longer than a year? Do you play video games ALL the time? Do you expect more from your mate than you are willing to give? When is the last time you lied to/ditched your girlfriend so you could hang out with your friends? When is the last time you went out of your way to do something that would make her smile?
Guess what. If this is you, you are well, what my father kindly refers to as a loser. Sure you may be nice, but you are also unmotivated and pay more attention to your video game than you do the hot naked girl who loves you standing to your right. You prolly also have no romantic sense and would never do anything out of your way for a girl you really want. Sure you don’t cheat on her and you do the typical boyfriend stuff of meeting her family and friends, but that doesn’t make you a catch. And to me, that sure as hell does not make you a ‘nice guy.’
To me, a ‘nice guy’ is someone who is self sacrificing. Someone who opens doors for his girl. Someone who is the first to give up his seat on the bus. Someone who cleans your dishes and makes your bed when you leave for school/work in the morning. A guy who offers before you ask. Someone who is confident. A guy who knows what is important to you and of course, a guy who makes you feel special and respects you.
Maybe that’s pretty specific. That’s okay because this is my blog.
Correlate: Nice ~ Sweet.
Second. Women do not want pushovers. This idea of nice guys finishing last is really pushovers finishing last. And you know why they finish last? Because they are pushovers. No wo-man wants a pushover. That’s not a relationship. So before you whine and cry about being left behind, ask yourself, did you grow a pair?
Also, I know a fair amount of women who have gone after ‘nice guys.’ And I definitely know nice guys who girls flirt with and maybe even throw themselves at, you know why? Because he’s a catch and girls want that, and they can smell it and they will go after it.
Evolution will back me up because another quality of nice guys: they will be good fathers. A woman wants a man who will stick around and take care of the babies. No one wants the father of their children to be a deadbeat.
Having problems getting girls? Well, did you ever ask yourself if you’re going after nice girls? Maybe nice girls suffer from the same syndrome. There are always guys who go after, what I will say more liberal girls. And I’ve heard more than one conversation wondering why a guy would ever value these “liberal” things and choose make her his a girlfriend. It happens both ways. Don't be the kettle calling the pot black.
I guess the bottom line is: what is your bottom line?
You have control over your happiness and love life.
If you are a nice guy who can’t seem to get a girl, I have one question for you: Have you done everything possible in your power to win this girl over? I’m guessing no. Case in point: I know a seemingly nice relationship type of guy who to win a girl that was considered way out of his league, he took this girl in a hot air balloon for first date. I know right?
To both nice girls and nice boys, if you haven’t done everything than you have two options:
1. Do everything to get the person you want.
2. Get over it. If you aren’t willing to do everything for love, than I kinda don’t wanna hear it.
So let’s look at the casual factors:
nice guy /= finish last
pushover = finish last
Of course, we must take into account the age (and thereby wisdom and experience of each sex) in the model.
Because I enjoy the company of men who have grown a pair, I don’t want a loser. I don’t want a pushover. I’m gonna go out on a limb and say most women would agree.
Do you consider yourself a nice guy? What qualifications do you measure this by? Please don't be one of those people who expect things from a person in a relationship but are never willing to offer those same standards to the opposite sex. i.e., boy wants a girl with a hot bod, well, how hot is your bod? If you want something out of a relationship you need to be willing to offer that same quality, characteristic, etc.
My personal relationship philosophy right now: I refuse, absolutely refuse, to settle into a committed relationship with a guy unless he exceeds my expectations.
It is of my humble opinion that you adapt something similar. It helps keep things in perspective. I mean having fun is one thing, but boyfriend material soooo on a different level.
Here's the j-curve. You will notice that the opposite sex wanting nice guys starts higher with a younger age, decreaes throughout adolescents/young adults, and finally rises again with an increase of age.
