Time to time I am forced to reevaluate my self-imposed relationship rules. Whether by opportunity or by choice, reevaluating give me the chance to qualify the most recent circumstances in my life and also gives me a chance to see where I stand with myself.
It took me until my mid-twenties to be comfortable with the word boyfriend. It took me until my senior year of college to not freak out when a guy wanted to hold my hand. And it took me until my twenty-fifth year to realize that I will not enter another relationship unless you can exceed my expectations.
I am the type of forward girl who will let a guy know exactly what I want and expect from him. No grey areas. If I want to be in a relationship with you, I'm going to let you know before anything major happens. Of course, the negative converse of this, is that if I don't bring up the relationship question, than well, I don't consider you boyfriend material. I mean, I'm sure you're good for someone else...
What does this mean? This means that although I might entertain the idea of casually dating you, I make a very distinct line between boyfriend material and non-boyfriend material. And even my non-boyfriend material type of guy has high standards.
For me, that means I don't mind having date nights with my 'mos and Bill Maher. It means going out and enjoying myself and not worrying about if my guy will get jealous because I like to dance. It means not playing games, but being honest and fun loving. It means not worrying what some dude is going to think if I do or do not act a certain way around him. It means my happiness is dependent on myself, not someone else. For me, being single and not settling means having some of the best sex I've ever had ---with myself.
For all you taken people, here's a glass to you. Here's for not settling and being with an amazing person who treats you right and gives you what you deserve.
For the rest of us, join me in my pledge to honor and respect ourselves. To not settle for less than we deserve.
Here is my pledge to remain single unless you can exceed my expectations. I dare you.
"I have never been the type of girl to be in a relationship just for the sake of not being single. I LOVE being single. I like having my big bed to myself every night of the week and unless it's with my pillow, I don't like cuddling all night long. I believe the secret to a great long-lasting marriage is separate rooms (or at least separate beds)."
ReplyDeleteI think this sentiment will change once (or if) you get married.
"Of course, the negative converse of this, is that if I don't bring up the relationship question, than well, I don't consider you boyfriend material. I mean, I'm sure you're good for someone else..."
Awwww... so I don't have a chance. Or are you just waiting to bring it up with me? ;) You know what I mean...
"For me, that means I don't mind having date nights with my 'mos and Bill Maher. It means going out and enjoying myself and not worrying about if my guy will get jealous because I like to dance."
Who/what are your 'mos? As much as I despise Bill Maher and his simplistic worldview, his show is one of the few places you might see legitimate debate with the panel. But whenever he chimes in, it's just unbearably simplistic as well as a shallow attempt at humor. New Rules are rarely funny and his rants at the end of the show aren't insightful.
You really don't want the guy to get jealous if you dance with another guy? I'm just glad to hear a woman take a rational position on this.
"For me, being single and not settling means having some of the best sex I've ever had ---with myself."
Uh, what?
Despite my disagreements, I did enjoy the first post and will check out the others.